I’m 50! Happy Birthday to Me! I am officially half a decade old…Mercy! Have I really been in this planet for 5 entire decades? No woman rushes willingly towards the 50-year line, in fact some of us try everything from Remy weaves to Plastic Surgery to turn back the clock, and  I’m not going to lie and tell you that I have welcomed gray hairs, bizarre pains and the fight against gravity BUT! I have decided to welcome the big ‘5’ ‘0’ because:

  • I know quite a few that have not made it thus far, whose life has been snatched by cancer, accident, crime, or other. So Lord, I’m grateful!
  • There is a packet of wisdom that comes from each decade, and because it is not possible to have the body of a 20 year old and the wisdom of a 50, I happily choose the latter!


So here’s my top 10 Life Lessons:

1. There is Nothing like Family

Children, spouses, parents, siblings, cousins are a blessing 🙂 You may not always get along, you may not believe in the same things, you may talk only twice a year, but they are FAMILY!I truly understand why a mother can lift a car off her child, there is something about that bond.  I am extremely blessed to be Adoring Mum to two wonderful, decent young men; Grateful Daughter of selfless, loving parents; Blessed Sister to my dependable, supportive brothers and Cousin to dozens!

2People, Places & Things..Come and Go.

In the last few years I have loved and lost friends, had my heart broken and perhaps broken one or two;  I’ve started and ended jobs in my pursuit of fulfillment and purpose, I’ve moved across parishes and countries..and what I’ve learnt is that one thing constant in life is CHANGE, and some people, places and things (no matter how loved) are just for a season. You just have to learn to discern what is leading you to purpose and what isn’t.

3. Nobody can Change you, but You!

It takes work to become better versions of ourselves; real, focused, sometimes back-bending work. But personal development only comes with work. No one can do it for you, even if they wanted to! I can testify to the fact that it’s difficult to look at the ‘ugly’ parts of yourself, and make the effort to change, but the alternative is to stay a mediocre, possibly unfulfilled, passionless version of you! SO start with the ‘man in the mirror’ and do the work!

4. Real Change is Scary but Necessary!

In the last decade or so I have made some really difficult decisions, difficult! But whether they turned out as I wanted or not, I have no regrets because I knew things COULD NOT remain as they were! Yes I have encountered the occasional ‘But how you could do that??” but every decision I now make I check with God and those it directly affects, sorry people but that’s it. They are many that stay in abusive relationships, or at the brink of bankruptcy, or are headed towards obesity, or staying in a job they hate… why? because they are are petrified of the unknown and of what people may think. True Transformation lies on the other side of Fear!

5. Your Health is a  Critical Component

I’ve had health knock me over a few times in the last two decades and I have come to realize that when you are unwell, your life is on hold. Your ability to demonstrate love, work diligently, socialize, serve and pursue purpose takes a back seat. Without our health, true abundant life is difficult to achieve. We only get one temple (how the bible describes our bodies) so it behooves us to take as good care of it as we can. There is a whole lot that I can do nothing about, so those things I can do, like eating properly, exercising, resting and reducing stress, I am giving my all!

“There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.” ~Sophia Loren

6. You Need to Create and Manage your Environment.

So very often I bump into someone who say “So when did you move back?” to which I respond “over a decade ago” 🙂  I have made it my ambition to live a quiet and peaceful life,  and the older I get and the more attuned I am to my Life’s Purpose, the more I guard my personal space. Thankfully, FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) has never plagued me and though I appreciate the need for some social activity, this is now carefully chosen by me. My time, brain space, health and energy are now carefully allocated and aligned with my calling, and for that I make no excuse.

7. Once you have Breath..You have Hope!

I have recovered from a failed marriage, financial distress, health woes and relocation…it is possible. I have seen people across this world recover from some major devastation and some manage to create wonderful, victorious lives after life events that could have totally destroyed them physically, mentally or emotionally. It is possible! It’s one of the reason that Recovery Coaching is an important part of of my service offerings because this is what I want for everyone…To have Hope! Check out my the Recovery Webinar on my website.

8. Your Adult Life is Largely Sculpted by You!

It’s a sad and difficult thing to admit, trust me. To realize that what we see manifesting in our lives we have somehow created. You may or not may not agree, but the longer I live the more I realize that the realities of our personal life are mostly shaped by the thoughts we think about ourselves, our situations and the world around us. Without a doubt bad things, but it’s what we tell ourselves that dictate how we handle it, how we recover and if we create new circumstances. Our self-talk often makes us or breaks us; take it from a Recovering ‘Negative Self-talker’.

9. We are Here to Love and to Serve!

Love is without a doubt the strongest force on this earth! Hands down! I sincerely believe that if we all truly learn how to love (not the Hollywood version) true’ AGAPE’ love one  another, this planet would be a beautiful place. Love is that force that enables you to continuously give and adore a child you wanted to pound to pieces a few days earlier, or to honor a parent that abandoned you, or to stay with a spouse that has cheated on you. It is that powerful! And when we love we should Serve! Nothing brings me greater joy than serving others out of  whatever resource I have been blessed with. There is an inexpressible joy that comes from trying to make others lives better.

10. NOTHING makes sense without God!

NOTHING! Did I say Nothing? Nothing! The one thing that has brought the biggest transformation to my life and created the firm foundation on which I now stand…is God. He’s always there, developing me, guarding me, sharing with me, comforting me and loving me unconditionally! God is the central axis on which my entire life now spins, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. So without a doubt my top lesson for my 5th decade is that nothing on this planet makes any sense without this central value system and the eternal perspective.

So that’s it folks, my top 10, there are a whole lot more things life has taught me, but my Birthday Gift to myself was sharing this top 10 with you. So my fellow ‘half-centenarians’, what have you learnt? Do share!

B.A.R.P. office here I come 🙂 Looking forward to the next 50!

Coach D